In your head right now, I want you to introduce yourself to me. What’s your “elevator pitch” about who you are? What did you say about yourself to give context to the new people you met at holiday parties?

Chances are, if you are an American at least, after your name you likely add your profession or job title, perhaps a mention of where you went to University. But I sincerely suspect that if you’re honest with yourself as you’re sitting at home sipping tea/wine and engaging in your favorite hobbies/past times that your job isn’t what defines you.

What you do does not define who you are.
Being Busy ≠ Being Important.

If the meaning of life is to give life meaning, most people I know do not find much meaning or purpose in their jobs. Many do not have the opportunity to find purpose because they are unable to detach enough from their accessibility to indulge in things that would provide fulfilling experiences.

Often, our calendars are packed full with work obligations only to have our personal planners also overflowing. We allow ourselves minimal downtime to decompress from: commute stress, coworker drama, or overbearing bosses. Our “free” time is then used to shuttle children, volunteer, or attend HOA meetings.

Stop romanticizing overwork.
Don’t confuse suffering with ambition.
Don’t trade your health for praise.
Time is relative but life is finite.

People are what make life worth living. Relationships, experiences, support, trust, compassion, empathy are the things that make us HUMAN. Read up on deathbed wishes and when listing both memories and regrets – it’s not about the physical things, the commodities and consumerism that people remember about their decades on earth. It’s the people who touched their hearts, were impactful characters in their stories, with whom they connected deeply.

Some of my favorite memories are from a random Tuesday night dinner party that I drove 5 hours out of my way for – it was cold, rainy and we were in a dreary basement apartment but we made an excellent meal and kept breaking open bottles of wine… No phones, no television. Just 5 people sitting on mismatched chairs around a modular table having important discussions about relationships, politics, craft beer – potentially controversial but safe because of the company in which opinions were shared.

It’s so easy to look at other people and judge their choices, but since you can never really understand someone else’s reality, it is uninformed judgment and objectively unfair. Just like our love languages vary, so do our priorities as humans. Some people prefer Fame, others status symbols and material possessions, some comfort and others creating memories. But for me, the value of life is people. Those people may be family but they don’t have to be. As humans we are able to form such strong bonds, but loyalty and trust are what set us apart.

It takes a village not only applies to raising children, but our day-to-day is considerably enhanced if we work cooperatively with our neighbors, extended families, and community networks. These people, these relationships, are what endure despite floods, hurricanes and natural disasters. They are what will keep your belly full when times are lean and laughing when things are heavy. What memories that you make with these folks will be what you remember as you reflect on a life well-lived.

Life is not a race. Slow down, you’ll find yourself winning so much more if you spread the love and enjoy the ride.