I am absolutely surprised and overwhelmed by how many people compliment my optimism and willingness to fight. They call me an inspiration, which is the highest compliment I could receive, though I don’t always understand what others see. One recurring question I’ve been receiving a lot recently, is how do I deal with my anxiety? I believe that America as a country is experiencing some significant anxiety at present, so you are not alone. I’ve been very open about my struggles which are ongoing, but I am happy to share my experiences and personal insights.

The truth is, I have plenty of times when I am feeling overwhelmed or just very down/sad. I try to take an inventory of my feelings to see if I can identify WHY I am feeling a certain way. Is there an immediate thing needing addressed that’s causing me stress or anxiety? If I can identify it- can I tackle it? If I feel overwhelmed and tackling it feels like too much- what CAN I do? Or can I give myself a deadline? Ok, I don’t want to call the insurance company but I can’t get anything done to address my muscle pain until I get approval. So I have to want pain relief more than I DON’T want to make the call. Eventually the scales will tip and I try to be prepared when that time comes. Sometimes it means writing down the call/appointment/follow up info I need in several places so that when I find an innocuous time or a sudden bout of confidence, I have the information I need wherever I may be.

I also try to immerse myself in something I completely enjoy as a distraction because it gives my body a respite from fight or flight feelings. A show (Downton Abbey, The Good Place) that’s a guilty pleasure because my ex didn’t like it. Painting something. Reading a good book. Cooking a favorite. Looking up plans for a small herb garden… An hour of one of these activities is usually enough to noticeably lessen the anxious dread that sits in my stomach. If the anxiety is sitting in my heart, then a good cry typically helps better. It doesn’t have to be a sad cry… I can usually bring it on by watching videos of soldiers being reunited with their dogs after deployment. Or the Zach & Kelly breakup episode of Saved By the Bell. (Hey, we all have our own things!)

The other important piece of the puzzle is the meds/therapy combination. I consider taking my antidepressants and anxiety meds just as vital as taking my immunosuppressants for my Connective Tissue Disease and my meds & inhalers for my ILD. The meds give my brain the balance they need and my therapist helps me feel heard, even at a time when it feels like being a handicapped woman is like screaming into a void that I matter. The meds/therapist combo reminds my heart and mind that I DO matter, and that any thoughts to the contrary are natural and temporary.

I also take a lot of solace in knowing that I am not alone in my experience. This is all new TO ME but not as a disease. Waking up every morning with such uncontrollable coughing and thick mucus in my lungs that I gag, puke, pee or the winning trifecta of ALL of them! Certain days, even when I have slept ok, I have zero energy to do anything. That I have to mentally gear up to dig deep enough to find the energy to stand up and walk to the bathroom, let alone cook anything more than in the microwave or an air fryer. That I can be doing something simple and basic, but today I can’t do it without severe shortness of breath and significant pain in my chest, back, or extremities. My endless frustration as my nasal cannula and 25ft cord gets so tangled it chokes me, gets stuck in the refrigerator, or I trip on it when walking and barely catch myself as I fall.

Guess what? Every person with this disease has been though these things. I’m not unlucky or doing anything wrong. I am living the same experience as everyone else, it just sucks for all of us. And as much as I believe that misery doesn’t actually love company, it IS wonderful to know that I am not unique in my experiences. What I feel is valid. What I feel is normal. Being frustrated IS normal. It’s ok to be unhappy about the situation that I’m in.

The shortcut answer for how I deal with things that I am really dreading: another Pulmonary Function Test, important test results, calling the frustrating company for any medical or oxygen supplies… is the exact same as when I was tricking myself into riding a rollercoaster or taking the polygraph. I tell myself, “it’s already over.” I picture myself on the other side, I’m looking back and I’m just remembering what happened, not actually living it in real-time. That means that I’ve already survived the discomfort, the thing I’m dreading has actually been conquered. No need to dread something I’ve already triumphed over. That may seem silly, but it’s a mind over matter thing that has been quite successful for me over the past 15 years or so.

I am a work in progress, just like my coping skills. I try to stay present and focus on one thing at a time. It makes me appreciate everything – positive or negative, I appreciate it as something adding value to my life. Thank you for adding value to my life.

Please feel free to share your own Anxiety experiences or coping skills in the Comments.